Abuse... Will it ever end?

In the 7th grade things were bad I would be up all night scared to sleep scared that he would hurt me feeling like crap because he insulted me so so so much so I would go into school and they could tell that I was scared because someone would come up to me and I would jump out of my skin and then I would be bullied until I could not take it anymore then I would go home and sleep all day and after that stopped working I would go home and cry and cry then I started cutting and my home life would keep getting worse and worse and the several months later my parents found out I started cutting so they brought me to the hospital and I sat there for 12 hours and then at 4 in the morning they sent me in an Ambulance to another hospital and I was there about 20 min I was scared to death I just wanted it all to stop I wanted to go home and I told them that and the I got even more scared I had a panic attack and the counselor came over and told me to calm down and I just couldn't so he threw me against the wall and hit me and left bruises and then I went home because he knew that if he didn't send me home I was going to call the police. at that point I just wanted to die. THE DOCTOR ABUSED ME! Who could I trust if not a doctor I was deathly scared of the police they reminded me of the abuse because when it happened they would always be called I had no one. So the cutting got worse and worse now every time I go to the hospital I get really really scared like its bad and then the counselor at my school called DCF (Child Services) and they cane did nothing blamed me they stayed 3 years and it did not help...


I guess I need someone who has had similar experiences and can tell me how to get over it. Because i have flashbacks everyday it bothers me a lot I cut because of it.


Sorry for the long post.

Hello-

Okay so my teachers are constantly yelling at me and they are not supposed to because I have PTSD and yelling is a big trigger for me. But, they continue to yell at me even after I told the principal and my guidance counselor as well as talking to them myself about it myself. I don't know what else I can do.

This is really bugging me I have been having really bad urges to cut recently I have not given in yet but I feel like I am not going to be able to avoid it much longer. I need the pain to stop and cutting makes it stop.

Ugh I feel so weak. Sorry if this is in the wrong place....

Lately its been really hard lately all I can think of is the Emotional and Physical abuse I have been through I feel like it is controlling my life it is defining me. I have no one to talk to about it no friends at all, I don't know what to do. I have been considering ending my life. I don't want to live anymore....