I'm so lost.TRIGGERING
I'm so lost.TRIGGERING
Last night I was at a Halloween party with a few friends and a guy came up to be and started dancing and the next thing I knew he was kissing me, this part is very hazy, I was completely drunk. We then went upstairs and started to have sex, mind you I'm still completely drunk and I was consenting at first, but more like I had no clue what was going on so I went along with it, but then three other guys came in and each had their turn with me. I said 'no' and 'stop' a few times but they continued anyway. They made me blow them and this something I told myself I would never do (I'm gay) but I was drunk and I felt pressured with no way out. After this me and the first guy went back to his place where one of the other guys came into the room, and they both took me at the same time. At this point I am in no way consenting and have no clue what is going on still. One of the guys was incredibly rough and he choked me for almost the whole time, I have huge bruises on my neck because of it, which still hurt. I started sobbing in the middle of it and when they asked me what was wrong I told them I was gay but that no one knew and they kept going. I just want to die. Whenever I close my eyes all I see is these guys and all I can hear are their voices, yelling at me to take it.
My sister told me to go to the police but I don't want to make a big deal out of this and I wouldn't be able to recognize three of the guys anyways. I'm just so lost and I feel so numb. Also, I have to work tomorrow with these huge bruises on my neck and I'm going to have to explain to my boss what they are from. I hate myself so much.
My sister told me to go to the police but I don't want to make a big deal out of this and I wouldn't be able to recognize three of the guys anyways. I'm just so lost and I feel so numb. Also, I have to work tomorrow with these huge bruises on my neck and I'm going to have to explain to my boss what they are from. I hate myself so much.
Juliaa- Guest
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