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Post  counselor on Mon Oct 15, 2012 11:35 am

I chose this article among many, because it seemed more complete and full of ideas to think about. I thought it might help in some way, to understand each other better and to better understand the motivations of others.

Here is the article:


The news of a suicide always leaves a sense of loss in the recipient. And the obvious question that arises is why? There are various reasons and we will analyze them one by one

First go said that only in a few instances, the person who commits suicide is decided in a sudden and unexpected. This occurs only in people who have a serious psychiatric disorder (eg, depression) or face life situations that feel extreme and unbearable (eg sudden incarceration). Most of the time, suicide is the conclusion of a personal inner experience, painful and rending, which frequently are put in doubt whether or not to commit suicide. This inner experience can be described as a series of steps I will describe below.

Death meant positively.
At first the person suffering begins to consider the idea of ​​committing suicide, not in a really intentional, but as a possible solution to their problems and their pain. Suicide is seen as a last escape route to take in the case that events and their situation worsens. This gives the possibility to begin to imagine his own death in a positive way. There is no longer afraid of it, but we see it as a '"friend" who will give us comfort and relief. Sometimes they also take such famous suicides, which have played a romantic aura in the collective imagination. Last but not least one could imagine how the people we hold most dear and near live our death.

Are considered positive and negative aspects of suicide
Then, what is the idea of ​​suicide begins to look like a real intention to put an end to their existence. We evaluate the pros and cons of the final choice you are fighting against opposite feelings, between the desire to live and to die, between despair and hope. This is particularly experienced by the person who suffers from depression.

Final decision.
Finally, the decision is made to commit suicide. Often, though, even if you're willing and determined, it happens that the last time the survival instinct takes over and you go back on its decision.

Reasons for suicide
There are various reasons that can drive a person to commit suicide.

Suicide as a choice "existential"
Some at some point in their lives can no longer find meaning in their lives, they feel no desire or emotion at all. They have a normal life or even satisfactory, but it is only an appearance, behind it there is a deep dissatisfaction. These people do not believe in anything and anyone they feel cynical, disillusioned, without dreams, especially not feel more love. There is a depression behind this but a state of latent malaise, which hides a state of depression and not widely acclaimed. However, whereas in classical depression remains a yearning for protest and rebellion against his own situation, in this case the 'barrenness of their existence is accepted as the emblem of the human condition. The person in this state does not suffer any more, because can no longer be involved in anything, no longer feels disappointed, because no hope anymore.

Suicide as a "reaction".
In this case, the person who thinks of suicide, reacts to a situation that feels hopeless. He suffered an injury, lost a loved one, has been a disappointment professional or personal. Sometimes the reasons for suicide may seem trivial, especially when put in by a young man who can commit suicide for a rejection at school, on a sentimental crisis or another. What is important is not so much the event itself, but the meaning that it takes for the person who is ill. Therefore, it can happen that in the eyes of the world may seem like a small failure, has a devastating effect on 'self-esteem in the young construction. A failure at school then becomes the proof that you are a failure, a disappointment in love becomes the proof that you have a lovely little character and no one will ever love. You may be depressed, even if there was an external event trigger. At the core of many depressions there is a lack of love who takes into consideration the suicide, he feels that no one cares if he lives or dies. The depressed person is a totally negative balance of his existence that offers no prospect of improvement: the future will be horrible as this or worse. Suicide appears, then, as the only way to put an end to their sufferings are experienced as intolerable. Sometimes, suicide may have an end "altruistic" who took his own life, it is sincerely believed to be a failure and have disappointed the expectations of others. It 'convinced of being a burden to their loved ones and is convinced that others would be better off without him or her.

Suicide as "revenge."
Often people who want to commit suicide do not feel loved and considered. Suicide becomes the only way to finally be seen and appreciated by the people around them. The suicidal is convinced that only a gesture of extreme as to take his own life, will make the others finally noticing him. Suicide becomes a way to get revenge indifference or malice of friends and relatives: they are forced to live their entire lives, carrying the unbearable weight of guilt and remorse. Often, with his own death, the suicide want to hit the person who did the most to suffer in life. But behind all the anger, there is always a demand for love: 's suicidal hopes to accomplish with his death that' affection and the concept that it is able to obtain in life.

Suicide by "love."
When you lose a person (either as death as posting) that you loved so much, the lack and the pain can be so strong that he decided to put an end to their existence. This is especially true if you was also emotionally dependent on the other.

The suicide do not really want to die, just want to put an end to unbearable pain. But when you're desperate, you do not see things in an objective way: you think that was bad because the past and the present is hard, the future will be just as lonely and loveless. In life, everything can change, you should never lose hope. Who thinks about suicide sees in death the solution to their problems, but suicide is not the answer.

Below I advice pervenutami and published on the site that may be useful to people who are looking for themselves or for another a similar situation.

"... I want to kill myself. Every morning when I wake up I do not wake me I no longer live., My life is a mess everything I do is useless. Study medicine and in the third year I have not been able to pass an exam and now I can not study not reisco to move forward.'m finding myself alone and being alone, I started to think and I encountered ghosts of the past with my monsters I kept hidden away and I realized that although I have always pretended to be aggressive are a passive person of shit. was with a guy who is ashamed of me abusing me just hit me and abused me and I could not even react. everything in secret all alone without anyone knowing anything now this guy who among other things is my university colleague ignores me and tells me that he does not want to have anything to do that are boring and repetitive he has passed the exam and now feels even more than me, do not call me over and in front of me tries with girls is destroying me destroyed me and I can not go back I was very good at all and now I do not do anything but stay home and study instead of despair I pretend to stare at the empty and I want to die soon because I will have the courage to I do not fail to kill the world of course ... "

"I realize that in this moment of your life you suicide seems the only way out.
But keep in mind that suicide is a permanent solution to your problems, believe that no matter how serious, are temporary. When, at certain times of our lives, we feel particularly depressed, every problem, small or large, it becomes a rock unbearable. But in a week or a month your problems you may look completely different, you may see them in a different perspective. Most people who have thought about suicide at some point in their lives, now I'm happy to live and realize that they just wanted to stop being bad, do not cease to exist.
You must IMMEDIATELY talk to someone. Do not you can do it ALONE.
How did you get the strength to write this email (stating, in fact, your desire not to suffer more, not not exist) finds the strength to talk to a family member, a friend, a person close to tea. If you can not talk to any of these, ask for a helping hand out to a service center, a psychologist, or anyone else you feel appropriate. When you have identified the person who can help you, talk soon about your feelings of what you're feeling right now. Cry out to him all your grief.
Try to talk with a doctor. It 'possible that you are suffering right now, beyond the problems, some form of depression. If so it is also a chemical imbalance that can be cured with the help of drug therapy.
The main thing is to exceed this "critical stage" and time is an important factor. Try to earn not only "time" but to do what I have indicated in this "time".
And remember the true "courage" to confront the harsh but beautiful "art of living", not face death.
I remain at your disposal if you want riscrivermi. "

One of the latest and most beautiful works of van Gogh is the Wheatfield with Crows, in July 1890, shortly before the suicide and judged by critics his "spiritual testament" and lends itself to represent, through the description below the subject. Dark is the atmosphere. The artist in fact does not see future for his immediate existence, but his soul continues to burn with a consuming fire.
The cornfield is moved so that it looks like a forest fire, in which the empty streets, leading into the unknown, trying to make his way and on which hover sad omens, the ravens just blacks who seem to like vultures on a corpse .
The road is no way out because the fields that express the values ​​of the rural past, nothing can against the new bourgeois values, represented by a sky that looks like a stormy ocean, where the light is mixed in the dark confusing everything .
In the midst of this gloomy sky white spots indistinct, mystical, seem to indicate the stars or threatening clouds, but actually depict the solitude of the artist, turned in on itself.
The cornfield is the elegy of a loser.
The way it does not lead anywhere and is virtually covered by a person, the artist, who does not know where to go or what to look for.
Note that before making the painting, van Gogh went to visit his brother Theo, who lived in Paris and had been shaken by the professional difficulties of him and the poor health of the grandson Vincent.
A few days after finishing the work, van Gogh wrote the last letter to Theo in which expressly say that his death would put an end to the suffering of the family of his brother: his works would have increased in value and Theo - his wife and son Vincent - could lead a better life (unfortunately Theo kill six months later, sorry for the death of his brother).
So van Gogh - if we looked at the contingent aspect of his life - he would kill himself by taking this familiar note as an opportunity to make the last mission of his life: that he had failed in life, to achieve anything socially useful, thought to do so in death. In fact, the occasion is just an excuse, as it is typical of Fools find ethical reasons to just act desperate. In philosophy the most classic examples are Kierkegaard and Nietzsche.

Dr. Robert Knight

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Join date : 2012-09-01
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