I need some help

Hey! So i'm Winter, i'm 15, and i have a problem.
Ever since i was little, i have always had no friends. At recess i would (seriously) walk around by myself the whole time.

Any time anyone tries to talk to me i become a clam and i have an inability to properly function.  

I have had a pretty crappy life given that my dad died when i was 6 from drug over dose, my mom hasn't been here for half my life (cause:drugs), i have been in 2 foster homes, i have been sexually hurt by my step father, i have gone to many different counselors and none seem to help.

Now, i need to get to the deep parts. I don't ask for pity, only for help, so please, don't hate on me.
I self harm allot, and i'm pretty suicidal.

Im looking for help, i need it.  

So sorry for your past, man.
Parents should love their kids but unfortunately is not always the rule.
It's not your fault. You was just unlucky. But you have to know that you'have a life to live! You don't have to forget your past, but you have to try to manage that nightmares hinder your days.
Inside yourself you have a strength even if you don't know that.
Try to think about your past. If you feel you want to talk about every kinnda situation, try to do it now. And don't worry, you're not alone.