I caved in to pressure

I caved in to pressure and felt I had no support. I went to see me abuser this morning. I have stayed away from him for a month, but today I caved. My Dr and therapist have been so hell bent on getting me into a DBT group, that the fact that I just got out of a ten yeat very physically abusive relationship seemed to be forgot abouut. With all the pressures of the dr and DBT group, and going $630.oo in debt to take a class a I dont want to take and will be exhausted from working all day then not get out of the class til 8 and home til 9, only to sleep and be leave for work at 7 in morning. It all I got to me. When he texted and asked me to come ovver, I went. Pitifully enough, worse thing that happened was he slapped me hard across the face. I am thinking that I must be a really horrible person and thought I needed to be severaly abused. My counselor and dr are punishing me, so I may as well go back to my abuser.