School Problems

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School Problems

Post  anxious.girl on Wed Jul 22, 2015 1:41 pm

I have recently finished year 7. It has been an extremely hard year. For people to understand more I would first like to tell you about my experiences in year 5, 6 & then year 7. In the middle of year 5 I started getting bullied by a group of girls, they made sure i couldn't talk or hang out with them or my friend. I used to overhear them saying stuff about me as well. I let this go on for about a month but eventually couldn't take it and told my parents. We told my year 5 teacher and he acted on it by getting them to apologise and warning them if they did it again their parents would be phoned. This worked for a while until they started excluding me again, but when I told the teachers my "friend" told me it was her fault, I am not sure whether it was actually her fault or not but I didn't believe her. I realised that she wasn't really my friend or she would have never really let this happen though. The teachers made them apologise again but did not come through on the phoning their parents. They started being nice again but I knew it was fake and that I couldn't trust them again. Nearer the end of the year I started getting bullied again by a boy. He started spreading rumors and calling me names like, freak and telling people I had 'issues', implying I was crazy. This started because I wouldn't let him use my rubber and he got angry at me. Again I let this continue for about 3-4 weeks but then couldn't take it and told my parents. My father was furious and went into school saying to the head teacher that this needed to be sorted out, she got my yea 5 teacher to sort it out. After my had told him about everything the boy had done he went outside and got the boy and took him inside. I had no idea this was happening at the time and walked into school trying to avoid the boy. Him and his cousins then came up to me and started shouting at me calling me a snitch and a liar, and saying it was me who was bullying him. This caused a crowd of year 5's to swarm around us. A lot of them started calling me a snitch or saying I took it too far and shouldn't have told the teacher. Then I saw my mum and ran up to her crying and scared. She took me inside and I explained to her what had happened. She too was furious. She went inside, she had decided to pull me out of school and demand they help me find a new school. My year 5 teacher not wanting this to happen said he would sort this out. He told me I would be spending the day in the other year 5 class. You could hear him screaming at them from the other classroom. At lunch I received many cards and made a new group of friends I expected it would only be for the last day and knew they weren't really my friends.
In year 6 things were better for 1 term but after the holidays things went downhill. We made a new friend but it was clear she didn't like me and wanted me out of the group. I was slowly isolated from the group and I can't remember when exactly had started receiving mean and hurtful messages from the newest girl in our group. After a moth of this I told my parents and my year 6 teacher, she, having been bullied herself, sorted things out very quickly,. Things got better but they weren't the same. It was clear the girls didn't like me so I started spending lunch and break alone. This continued for the rest of the year and I couldn't wait for secondary.
At the start of secondary things were great but in my 1st friendship group things started to go wrong, I tried many times to fix it but it was clear thing were always going to go wrong, I would like to say at this point I had social anxiety, other types of anxiety and big trust issues, I made friends with a girl but she eventually ditched me for a different groups, at this point my anxiety became worse, I had even bigger trust issues and had started feeling very low (depressed). I made another group of friends who are my current group but I don't really think they are my friends and have decided it best to just be on my own. My feeling low has gotten worse and so has my anxiety, I no longer trust anyone except my family.
I have talked to my parents and we have agreed that if year 8 isn't any better I can move schools but the thing is school just makes me worse. So I was wondering if anyone knew about any schools for people with mental health issues or who can't deal with regular schools that are also in North London and not too far from N9-N12 areas, preferably no further than 3-5 miles.
Thank you for reading.
Anxious Girl

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Re: School Problems

Post  counselor on Thu Jul 23, 2015 5:59 pm

Hi girl, so sorry for your loneliness.
You know, school is note the best for many people around. And U know, when U feel lonely, really you are not ok with your self. If U were in peace from within U will not feel never alone.
Let this anger go. Let the fear go. Let the reason go. Is important just water U feel. You shoul love. Love your self, love the other even if hurt U. Bevande the truth is they don't know what they do.
You are a special girl, don't let them kill your beautiful mind and heart.
School comes to an end. And one day you will have the power to choise what people meet, what people go out with, what you want. Always we will find bad people on our way, but there are also lots of prospects to find our kind of. People like us. People to build something special with. Something great and deep.
Don't stop loving my friend.
Remember, we are not alone < 3
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