This pain...

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This pain... Empty This pain...

Post  Givinup on Fri Dec 19, 2014 11:57 am

I cannot get rid of this pain... It's not that I am just sitting and waiting.. I am trying to change things. Recently I was very closed person, I didn't talk to anyone, just did my thing every day and couldn't wait to be alone in my room. Now I decided to give it a try to socialize and etc, we are on a business trip, so I was trying for a week to e around my colleges, talk to them and try to be involved in their activities and all te jokes and etc. but then so many things distract my mind, and I get this pain in my heart again.. I don't feel comfortable.. All I can think of is how much I want to go back to my own room, hide from everybody.. I want a drink and a cigarette.. (Which I didn't have for at least 6 months) and then I have these thoughts of just freeing myself from this bs by ending it in a quite way all by myselfv


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