Struggling to let go of the past

It is 3 years this month that my relationship to my then wife finally ended. It was a marriage of conflict many times. The arguments the fights and the drinking. All to excess. We were not good parents. And yet even now 3 years on I still struggle to overcome the past. One of my family members keeps strong ties with my ex. This has been something which I have never accepted even though I have tried time and time again. Finally it blew a hole in the relationship I have with my brother. We never speak now. I heard he said to another brother I have that "I bring to much negativity into his life". Maybe he is right.

I wish I did not feel the way I do about the past. The losses. And the fact the ex still has lots of interaction with some of my family members. She has 2 children. I tried for 2 years to keep the relationship open with 1 of them. In the end it failed. She backed off. I don't see her now. It was like loosing one of my own children. Worse still what I am writing here today in December 2014 I was writing 2 or 3 years ago. I can not seem to move on. It may all sound pathetic .... probably is. But it hurts. I have found out my ex meets with my brother and his family soon before Xmas. This also hurts. It should not. Maybe it is made worse by the fact I am isolated and totally alone. Days can pass and I do not speak to single person.

If anybody has any advise or insight I would really appreciate it. I have read dozens of online articiles on this issue of letting go but am still feeling so stuck. Thanks for reading.