Have you forgiven your abuser(s)?

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Have you forgiven your abuser(s)?

Post  bitethebullet on Thu Dec 18, 2014 6:31 pm

I thought I had forgiven my abusers but I'm not so sure anymore. I don't think that it's helped me in any way.

They've never expressed regret. I'm tired of pretending that nothing's wrong, that nothing ever happened. I don't want to forgive them just because they're family. Why should I? I used to believe that they were regretful, which was a comfort. But now I've found out that one of them is bragging at work about what he did to me. I also tried to excuse their behavior with their age, that they were too young to understand how much they hurt me. I was 4-5 and they were 14-16 (sexual assault, rape).

I suffer from panic attacks, nightmares, GAD, night terrors... I used to have OCD as well. I can't say I'm thankful.

I feel pathetic. I always forgive people and I always help others. I know when I'm being used but I have no strength to say no. Forgiveness in this case has only made me feel even more pathetic.

So, have you forgiven your abusers? Has forgiveness helped you in any way? Has it ever helped you not to forgive?

(I'm sorry for my crappy english. I'm not a native speaker.)

bitethebullet
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