Will it ever stop?

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Will it ever stop?

Post  Silently-Hate on Thu Dec 18, 2014 6:12 pm

Being touched so wrongly... Will it stop?... Being hit... Will it stop? I want the answers, I want a safe place but I have no where else to go...
My uncle oh my uncle, why does he touch me? Sometimes not perverted but others which seems like nothing more but a pat on the rear-end but it all bothers me.
I feel so vulnerable and open.
I seriously wonder how his wife never catches on, how I try to stay away from all males. I don't like being touched, and I'll suffer for the rest of my life because of what has happened, and no one will understand.
I'm terrified every time I have to take a shower and it's just me and him in the house. In fact I'm scared whenever it's just me and him in the house...
I want the pain, and the memories to go away

Silently-Hate
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Forever it seems

Post  Silently-Hated on Thu Dec 18, 2014 6:13 pm

I've been abused ever since I was little maybe two at least, my dads first gf hated me n my brothers but me the most and always made me go without eating for days on end if I did something wrong, or told me to stop complaint when I got hurt really bad like when I dropped something on my peg and caused second degree burns on my thigh. My dads second gf much the same but beat me and and stuck lit cigarettes in moly ears along with my brothers. She made me make mixed drinks, she forced me to cook and clean at age four. She beat me with a metal spatula, broke glasses by throwing them at us. She beat are heads into counters, walls and toilets if they weren't clean enough. My dads third gf and wife now hate the living daylights out of me. She broke two wooden spoons on my knuckles until they bleed and the bone showed through, she forced me to take care of her son if I didn't her daughter would hit me all night until I did what the baby needed. I now have sleeping and eating disorders, all that time I never told dad, n now that I have I don't live with him and I live somewhere just as worse, emotional abuse is much greater pain to me, I'd prefer physical cause all it causes are bruises and scars
I can't live with myself when they tell me how bad a person I am.

Silently-Hated
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Still my family I guess

Post  Silently-Hated on Thu Dec 18, 2014 6:14 pm

How could he do it? That's what I wonder the most how could my own blood and flesh come into my room and touch me the way he did? Does being his sister mean nothing to him, I know I was the only girl out of three boys and my dad but still you can't do that to me! I thought I didn't care, I thought the pain of it would go away but there still there in the back of my mind wanting me to remember but I don't want to I don't trust myself.
N the the other person whom I live with, does he not understand the meaning that I'm his niece I don't want to know or hear or see what you do in your room when it's just us two in the house. Don't ask to hold my hand while you're doing it. Im your niece not your wife whom you don't even share a bed with!
It's disgusting, I can't live with myself, I mean am I causing them to do this to me? Do I carry myself like that?

Silently-Hated
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